Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Dimestore Voodoo by Charles Steed


Is It Real or is it Dimestore Voodoo?

This book is a weird yet delightful blend of fantasy, humor, science fiction and satire, not necessarily in that order. The title is revealing in that dimestore voodoo implies nonsense, often nonsense originating from high places and promoted as truth. Sound familiar? But the book isn’t nonsense simply for the sake of nonsense. Take Pinky Wimlebton’s Talking Dog for example. We’re talking about a dog that can carry on a conversation on an intellectual level.

After seven years of silence, Virginia, the dog, goes public with her gift of gab and explains how our culture has had the means to do away with the burning of fossil fuels to generate power and employ alternative energy technology that we’ve had for years. Virginia bristles when she sees politicians on TV and blames them for a lot of what’s wrong with society. Smart dog, eh? She also outlines what has happened to other ancient “strains of humanity” that insisted on fowling the planet. Sounds strange coming from a dog. It’s even stranger because the alternative energy method she describes isn’t voodoo at all, it’s real. The spit really hits the fan when she gets booked on a late night talk show to explain it all.

And then there’s Jonas Cathcart, a 6000 year old guy who’s a member of a secret society calling themselves the Opals, sort of a longevity club. He explains the technology of his absolutely fascinating shadow society that lives almost in plain sight. He breaks the ice by giving the author details on how the earth is actually flat and follows with why the ancient Egyptians needed batteries. Haven’t you always wondered why pottery batteries were showing up in ancient Egyptian archeological dig sites? Here’s your chance to find out. There’s an interesting piece explaining antigravity and an all purpose miracle device that could make our culture heaven on earth. But it’s not likely we’ll have use of it anytime soon because the official Dimestore Voodoo practitioners running things would use it to advance more power tripping and greed. So it goes. The titles:

The Earth Is Flat
Pinky Wimbelton’s Talking Dog
Why The Ancient Egyptians Needed Batteries
The Sphincter Cops
How I Met Jonas Cathcart
Memory Eraser
The Antigravity Discovery
The Helm Of A Flying Saucer
How To Travel Back In Time, Really
Conversations With A 6000 Year Old Man
Magic Bullets
How To Be Invisible
The Three Percent Rule
Alien Shepherds & Other Loose Ends

Yes, it’s all fiction but much of it will make you wonder. The author told me that several beta readers were convinced that some of it, some of the wildest stuff in fact, was real. Here’s another example, the bit about how to travel back in time. I swear this would work. I mean, I’m gonna give it a try and won’t be at all surprised when I jump back a few weeks. I was also blown away by The Sphincter Cops. Man, we could cut crime to the bone if we were to do this. What a deterrent, and it’s totally humane, almost.

There’s another interesting piece in Dimestore Voodoo about erasing your undesirable memories. At first I thought, why would anyone want to do that? Shouldn’t we take the good with the bad? But then I realized that the lives we’re living today are shaped by certain unpleasant and downright nasty memories from the past. And if you’ve bought into this nonsense about the earth being round you really need to read the first story. It explains everything in plain language. The “round earthers” as they’re known in certain circles are the original conspiracy freaks.

There’s also a great piece included that might give you some insight as to where flying saucers are coming from. Jonas Cathcart had a lot to do with the harnessing of antigravity technology and has pictures (not included) of visitors from space that came to earth around 35,000 years ago.

It’s all in good fun and will have you looking twice at our crazy society and wondering. Is it real or is it Dimestore Voodoo?
I think I spent the first 30 years of my life daydreaming, creating strange and unlikely scenarios and playing what-if in my head. I managed to honorably get through the Navy as a medic and later went on to putting in 12 years as an RN. I followed that with several years buying and selling real estate in a tri-county area of Puget Sound, Washington. I can't say I wasn't happy but I will say I was unsettled. It seems that everything I've done has led me here.

I was past the age of 40 when I had the urge to document the techniques I'd used as a real estate investor. That led to my first published book. I'd always been a storyteller but now I had stories to tell. And in between a long stint of writing nonfiction how-to books I'd steal time to work at my passion, writing fiction.

So here I am. I can't seem to stop writing. Story ideas come at me like bats in a 3-D movie theater. I almost literally have to duck sometimes as the ideas flow. I've got a notebook with dozens of well-developed ideas. Some of the books I've published sat dormant for many years. What a relief it's been getting them out and having people enjoy them. I'm in it for the long haul now.

I'm fond of stories that inspire people. But that doesn't mean my work is fluffy or make me a starry eyed Pollyanna. Regardless of what a character in one of my stories might endure you can be sure he will learn something that makes a difference in his life. Either that or he'll get his ass handed to him. Such is life, huh?
AMAZON AUTHOR PAGE       WEBSITE        TWITTER  @charlessteed

No comments: