Saturday, September 8, 2012

Special Offers by M.L. Ryan : Guest Post, Interview & Excerpt

Hailey Parrish is quick-witted, irreverent, and hasn’t had a date in three years. She only wanted an eBook reader because her collection of paperbacks threatened to take over her small living space. Little did she know that the "special offers" that prompted the purchase included much more than a reduced price in exchange for a few ads. The device came pre-loaded with the essence of Sebastian Kess, an erudite womanizer with magical abilities from a parallel dimension. When she inadvertently releases him and he inhabits her body, she finally has a man inside her, just not in the way she imagined. And soon her predicament introduces her to yet another supernatural, the handsome could-be-the-man-of-her-dreams Alex Sunderland. Can Alex and Hailey find a way to return Sebastian to his own body, stay one step ahead of the criminals who want to keep him where he is, and not lose their sense of humor?

Today, it's my pleasure to welcome M.L. Ryan.  We're going to talk more about her book Special Offers and give you some scintillating samples and a chance to win a free copy, too, so stick around.....

Tell us about your book, Special Offers.
Special Offers is the first book in the Coursodon Dimension series.  The main character, Hailey Parrish, is quick-witted, irreverent, and hasn’t had a date in the three years since she divorced her philandering husband.
When I finally fell asleep, I dreamt I went on my first post-divorce date. The guy took me to a fancy restaurant, ordered lots of food and expensive wine and then ditched me for the voluptuous hostess. I was presented with the check but lacked any means of paying it. After negotiating a payment plan with the restaurant owner, which involved allowing him to indulge his foot fetish with my pinkie toes and some flavored whipped cream, I left the place and got into my car, which was really weird, because my date drove.
There in the parking lot were dine-and-dash and the hostess, groping each other with utter abandon. I revved up the engine, threw the car into drive and peeled out towards them. The headlights illuminated their stunned faces as I spun the car sharply, rolled down the window and chucked a lit Molotov cocktail - made from the empty wine bottle from dinner - at them and sped off humming the theme to “The Lion King.”
I woke up thinking I must be making progress. Usually in my dreams I ran them over after I set them on fire.
Her life is turned upside-down when she is inhabited by the essence of Sebastian Kess, a magically-inclined, supernatural being from another dimension who was trapped in her Kindle.  This predicament also introduces her to yet another supernatural, the handsome could-be-the-man-of-her-dreams, Alex Sunderland.
He looked at me with a thoughtful expression, as if he was trying to come up with the right words in answer to my questions. Finally, he said, “There’s really no simple way to tell you what I need to tell you…”
“Sure there is,” I interrupted. “Just blurt it out.”
“It’s very complicated and will require you to change the entire way you view your world. I can’t just blurt it out.”
I couldn’t imagine what he might tell me that would be so transformational. “Look, I’m hearing voices and I freaked out in front of essentially a complete stranger. This has been one of the worst days of my life and I’m not in the mood for this. Stop being so damn dramatic, Alex, and just give me the short version.”
“Sebastian is a powerful, magical being from another dimension whose essence was transferred to you through your Kindle.”
The nice thing about thinking that you are losing it is that you can just chalk up things like what Alex just blurted out to your insanity. I decided that, at least for the time being, I would accede to my wacked out psyche and play along.
“I changed my mind,” I replied finally. “I want the long version instead.”
Alex’s mouth curved into a small smile. “The world you know is not the only world that exists. Sebastian and I come from another plane, if you will, where the people have what you would consider magical abilities.”
“Uh-huh,” I murmured, not bothering to mask my skepticism. “Can you make something disappear?”
As soon as the words left my lips, the chair upon which Alex was sitting was gone. Even more remarkable, perhaps, was that he was still in exactly the same position as before the dematerialization occurred. Okay then. And then the chair reappeared. And Alex hadn’t moved a muscle.
I should have been able to come up with something witty in response to his demonstration. Or at the very least some comment loaded with my usual snark. But all that came to mind was “Whoa.”
Alex and Hailey must find a way to return Sebastian to his own body, stay one step ahead of the criminals who want to keep him where he is, and not lose their sense of humor in the process.
While I pondered the philosophical ramifications of Alex’s comments, Sebastian decided to insert himself into the conversation.
“Alexander has always been so cerebral about such things. Change occurs whether one accepts it or not. The only difference is how much energy one expends during the journey.”
“Sebastian says you’re over thinking the whole stubborn human thing.”
Alex chortled softly. “Sebastian is uncomfortable with the complexities of life.”
“He is mistaken, my dearest Hailey. I revel in complexity. It is the complicated that I abhor. Complex implies order with intricacy. Complicated involves convolution. Those are the subtleties that Alexander does not embrace.”
I was beginning to get tired of repeating what Sebastian was saying to me back to Alex. “Hey, don’t get me in the middle of some metaphysical pissing contest,” I complained. “It’s bad enough having someone else’s voice in my head; I can’t be expected to be Sebastian’s official spokesperson. You guys want to debate the fine distinctions between words and concepts, do it when you are hooked up and leave me out of it.”
“Of course, do forgive me. But please try to not get those lovely pink lace panties of yours in a wad over it.”
“My pink lace panties?” I sputtered.
“I’m sorry, is that not the proper terminology, panties in a wad? Modern slang can be so cumbersome.”
Now that he brought it up, I had put on a fuchsia thong after the shower incident. “How did you…wait, you said you were too gallant to look.”
“I said I’m not a degenerate, I didn’t say I lack normal masculine proclivities. I admit, I peeked. But you should not be self-conscious, my dear, you are quite lovely. And that’s truly a great compliment, considering I have been with thousands of women.”
In one sentence, why should we read Special Offers?  It has action, suspense, humor, sass, romance, magical beings and chinchilla-milk cheese.
Chinchilla-milk cheese?  How does that fit into the story?  You’ll have to read it to find out!
Lol!!  I will have to do that!  :)   Thanks so much for stopping in.  This has been a lot of fun!

Scientist by day, paranormal romance-urban fantasy author by night, M.L. Ryan has many stories rolling around in her head, and she finally decided to write some of them. She prefers literature that isn't saddled with excruciating symbolism, ponderous dialogue or worldly implications. She also doesn't like plots so reliant on love at first sight that it makes her feel like her head might implode. She lives in Tucson, Arizona with her husband and teenage son, four cats, two dogs and two adopted desert tortoises.


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Giveaway ends October 6th 11:59 PM Central Time.



Julie Witt said...

OMG, this book sounds like so much fun! I loved the excerpts and can't wait to read it now! I'm sure after I have I will never look at my Kindle the same way again :)

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